How To Kiss A Butterfly: A Night Filled with Silence

That fateful night...
...when the noisy streets of Manila lay silent after Election Day.

Its past 2am, I stare at the window while I sit on the upper bunk bed -- my younger brother, now sleeping below me); his dog, Bran, a shitzu, half-awake somewhere in the room -- as the dead silence should've set me to sleep, moreover the time (for its way past my bedtime LOL) but I'm not sleepy yet.

The Awkward Book Excitation

Today will be another hot weather, at least from what it seemed; or probably I'll be talking about a different kind of hot matter or something to that effect but who's speculating?

It was past 6 am, I glanced at the window of my brother's apartment in Manila (of which I'm staying for the mean time while I look for work or something interesting to do with my life :D ). So I just lie there, on the bed thinking, what in the hell should I do today? Half-asleep I scrambled to get my cellphone, there was no message. A friend and colleague of mine, Mitch is still flat on her bed sleeping nearby. So I close my eyes instead.

How To Kiss a Butterfly: The Letting

Note: This is the continuation to my previous blog which is The Forgetting (click link here)

She was hesitant to open the door, in whatever that lies behind it -- in whatever shaped shadow that lurks beyond that passage -- this frightens her. She must contemplate and fight the emotions she had. She just stood still as the adrenaline rush deliberately fills through her but all she can feel were gone.

She's bruised from smashing the cracked mirror long ago. Her knuckles are sore and red but she barely feels the pain or anything for that matter. Some necessary foresight is abound, a downplayed clarity hence the sensitivity of the matter is truly a reckoning. Moreover, judgement for those who are herewith and whom has spit fire shall pay.

How To Kiss a Butterfly: The Forgetting

She remembers looking at innocence and watching as it slowly breaks. As the light in her small room -- a gentle quaint soul of a young at heart -- shaken by the unconventional, shapen by the world she's in.

Her silence was a masquerade for she was in the darkness; shattered. And there are days where you just need to be you; so shove your mouth and think profoundly. She's speechless, humming out of tune.

How To Kiss A Butterfly: Life on Ice

I would try to come out laughing, watch my coffee turn cold; the fizzle in my eyes gone. As I stare at my half-empty cup like a weary kid, stuck in some kind of unresolved dilemma (only known to oneself).

It is like finding beauty to what lies ahead, this I said to myself.

I turn my head to the opposite direction and watch whatever unfolds in the horizon. Time goes by, in a blink of an eye, momentary still pictures circle in my head; my wordings are abit dry, wishing I could have said something unusual instead, but I never did.

The Birthday Song (Good, Better, Best)

Question: What do people sing on birthdays, when the actual Happy Birthday To You Song wasn't composed yet? I mean back in the olden days since this song was made in 1893.

Any takers?

How Seyfried Changed my Viewing Habit: That Fifth Element

There's this element of surprise when you're bored and you find yourself randomly watching a movie. You stared at that movie poster of Chloe; what caught your eye is the well-known cast and you thought, "Hey, Seyfried, Neeson and Moore is in it. . .maybe this is worth the while." And so you did watch it and then you find yourself during the duration of the movie, grapple from certain scenes: of nudity and the scandalous content. Then in the back of your head, you're suddenly wondering what the hell just happened? As your eyes widened to such.

This is the fifth part of The Seyfried Series. I was talking about ERW towards the end of the forth part so this time I'll continue on with some of her acclaimed movies.

Of Nudity
and Scandalous Scenes.

*Warning: May contain SPOILERS and an Explicit Pic (as per the title's indication, don't worry there's just ONE slightly nude PIC)*

PLL: Pile Up the Questions (After S3 finale)

Here's some 20 Questions about Pretty Little Liars:

its piling up and still counting (what the hell do the writers think to want to put us through this...Damn!)

Previous Post: PLL Questions after S3xE12

Is Ali still alive?

I Bid You, Farewell...

People come and go in our lives. I believe that they come in to our lives for a reason. Sometimes for company's sake, camaraderie, to hang-out and have fun, the roadtrips or foodtrips, to get crazy and just have a laugh, your drinking buddies, a shoulder to cry on and to scream with together.

Downright Clueless 2 Forlorn Carelessness

Date: March 23, 2013

Time: Almost 3pm

I sat under one of those unlit street-lights near the football field in Corinthian Gardens, QC.; in marvel with a cult book about Vampires and such; alone -- hoping for a quiet place to make my head spin of wordy creativity but alas! I can't escape the glaring noise of people cheering from a distance; my nephew is somewhere out there in that same field watching a kick-ass game while I -- I am ever in my own little world of crazy-happy-overly-serious me.

How Seyfried Changed my Viewing Habit: The Forth Marvel

When I don't have anything to watch next. . . all I do is go to youtube and watch tribute videos, movie trailers, alternate endings, BTS and bloopers of certain series and films. Lately I was into tribute videos of Fingersmith that has classical music as its background music and I just downloaded everything I could find there and save it.

After video recommendations after another, it occurred to me that there are alot of other TV shows that had some gay characters in it of which I wasn't aware of, like Grey's Anatomy, 90210, One Tree Hill, and The O.C. (I don't watch these series that's why I didn't know). So if we include Lip Service, SON, Sugar Rush,  BtVS, Xena, Dawson's Creek, TCD, Glee, and PLL then that's a long list. Whew! I guess, this is like wow! I'm flabbergasted. Though I know there's several other shows I haven't even mentioned yet but I'd rather not look further more into it. I've seen enough as it is.

Anyways, take a guess which one I got stumbled myself into watching? (drum roll please)

How Seyfried Changed my Viewing Habit: Thirds a Charm

The

BritishInvasion

I took a break from watching these gay themed indie films and art films that Amanda Seyfried's Chloe film has curiously led me into. So instead I snatched this British film which is titled, An Education. The movie is a coming of age drama story, based on a memoir of the same name by British journalist Lynn Barber. Set in 1960's London, it is about a young aspiring teenage girl Jenny (Carey Mulligan) with a goal set on entering Oxford University but meets a charming con man, David (Peter Sarsgaard), who's about almost twice her age.


I adored the movie because it is based on a true story and has been one of my fave films yet.  I liked it so much because of the timeline, its got this different era -- I so love the old London setting and culture. And so with my fascination on London culture, I urge myself to watch several other British films that I could find:

How Seyfried Changed my Viewing Habit: Second Time Around

After watching Amanda Seyfried's Chloe film, I switched it up with the Julia Stiles TV movie, The Makeover (2013) (interesting characters but predictable) maybe I was expecting too much since I've loved some of Stiles' movies (The Prince and Me, Save the Last Dance, etc). Too bad but I've seen worse.

Of RomComs
and Student-Teacher Relationship Films
*may contain spoilers*

So after a disappointing film, I shifted to Imagine Me and You, a (2005) British-American romantic comedy film, starring Piper Perabo (Cayote Ugly, Lost and Delirious), and Lena Headey (300).


The film is about newlyweds Rachel (Piper Perabo) and Heck (Matthew Goode) who's been long time friends before tying the knot.

Rachel starts a friendship with the florist (which she met on her wedding day), Luce (Lena Headey), whom she plans to match with her husbands friend Cooper (Darren Boyd).

How Seyfried Changed my Viewing Habit: The First Time

I never realize (until now) that there are lots of TV series that have gay plots in it. Whereas, the only show I know (back then) were Xena: Warrior Princess (Xena/Gab), Dawson's Creek (Jack), Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Willow/Tara). I'm shocked reading articles at wikipedia that the list should include The O.C., 90210, and One Tree Hill among others (I never watch these series that's why). I bet there are more but then I'd rather not look further into it.

When the movie Les Misérables was released  this year (watched it and loved it) then as usual I went on a rampage and goggled infos, behind the scenes and trivias about the movie. And as I was reading the casts BIOs, I was reading Amanda Seyfried (who played Cosette on LesMis), I was shocked to know she was a supporting cast in Mean Girls because I can't remember her in it! There-so I went on to watch the Lohan movie again (thinking how the tides have turned seeing how McAdams and Seyfried are getting more roles now compared to the lead actress). Thereafter, I saw a movie poster of Chloe (2009) in IMDB; seeing that Seyfried and Liam Neeson were in it -- I took the liberty of watching the said film without any idea what it was about.

*The following may contain spoilers*

I was speechless when the Moore-Seyfried scenes unfold my very eyes -- I was caught off guard -- but began to realize the scenes were tastefully done so I let the scenes roll nonetheless. Giving plus points for the tragic ending. The movie made me grapple a bit to further questions since I don't usually see movies with gay/lesbian plots. The Hours and maybe a handful of TV shows were only the few one's I remember touching that kind of subject (or maybe I just didn't notice?).

Saying Something Stupid

I was thinking about school reunions and meeting old friends (after writing my draft blog entry yesterday). I then started reminiscing about my college days: friends, classmates, The Chronicle, my anime geek friend Sheena, that girl crush writer, and that guy I hardly talk to in class -- only to find out years later -- he's married with kids and the girl he's with has the same name as mine. Like WTF!

Addicted to Whatnots

Wake up
the sun is changing,
unclasp these tired hand
just breathe in, breathe out.

Look up,
slowly just anticipating
take on a chance
this love is a ride
(we) don't know if its enough. (01/19/13)

I've been writing alot lately, been reading a couple of books here and there. I'm still trying to figure out how to export my notes/posts from my multiply account. I've given up already after several attempts in salvaging my poems there. In frustration, I went in a MOVIE MARATHON frenzy of which, then resulted to another TV SERIES melancholy. And I've gone back to that kind of ADDICTION. Again.
Thinking, I don't want to go to rehab. Not just yet!

The Process of Condemnation

We race to a pace--the search for satisfaction--as we lay our head up, wondering: 'What's there left in store for me?'

It's a struggle finding one's purpose in this life. For now, I'm curbed up to this mold with the tips of my toes slightly out in the open--hesitant to stay or to step out of this sheltered state.