Saturday, October 06, 2012

Coffee Toast: The 5th Blunder Bender

Sometimes moving on can be one tricky dilemma.

Its staring me in the eye..like some rapid nuisance of striking light into the dark. And just like the usual, the answers where just right in front of me..but I just didn't give it much time.
In the back of my head, sort of in predicament I got so much time to loose.
(All this time) All I did was just walk on and close my eyes. Nothing more.
Everything around me has change. It passes by like a glimmer towards a blinding light that I dare not look closely at. I look back at the past when things were once still dainty and new; how such childhood memories were splashed to red and blue. Yet, the usual innocence were true; feelings do grew--either out of or in to--still, the heart lies afloat the winds of change. A change to a different shade of hue.

Well, we could easily scour the lies and go ways around it. Wanting to remove the pain; the easy way out was just to forget the messy details of the past or even the awkward tension hanging loosely in the open. From someone that young and confused, the dilemma was suffocating. I remember crying from the complications while trying to comprehend what I ought to do with myself. Right at that moment I felt like dying.

Now, I'm confronting myself to those stupid things I did back then. I know, the proper thing to do, is to leave the past (coz past is past). But I also believe that whatever happened in the past..leaves a lesson for me to learn.

There are a lot of loopholes in my past that I have cut out for specific reasons. I haven't dared to specify nor look at those holes in fear that the past may eat me up and put me in any untoward state.

So there's this one particular hole I tried to peek but didn't dare do anything. But then, the other day, as I was looking at someone's profile page online, it hit me. I need to get my feet wet and put myself in the blunder of things. Let the past as to how it is. Let it be and just be happy.

And there it goes, after staring in random to a certain profile page, I type
...we should hang out sometimes.

Disclaimer: Back then the sentiments in June were half-way incorporated / even half-way reciprocated
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at 1:10 AM TAGs , , , ,